Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Just praying...

"may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ" Ephesians 3:18

So we are pretty slow going right now with filling out paper work. My husband is a school teacher and the end of the year is taking a toll on him. (Just a few more days tho)
Perhaps, the Lord's perfect plan for us.
We are being forced to spend more and more time in prayer,
fasting and seeking His will for our lives.

I KNOW adoption is not a 'choice' anymore for us.
I believe that we have been called to this life.
I believe that the Lord has amazing plans with us,
if we are willing.
My favorite quote lately is, "If we are willing, He is able."
That's all it takes.
Willing hearts.
Willing minds.
Willing spirits to pursue that which is not of ourselves
but only in us because He has placed it there.

As I live my life these last few weeks,
not really speaking to many people about what is happening in our hearts,
it's almost as though I am living in a dream land.
I observe SO much with these new eyes that I have not before.
I am saddened at my own selfishness of heart.
I am saddened at the deception of my own desires.
What seemed 'so important' to me before,
means absolutely nothing to me now.

The life that I once lived, is gone.

I have been undone with the thought of loving orphans for the rest of my life.

I want nothing more.
I do not need a big house,
I do not want a fancy car,
I do not care if I have the cutest stylish clothes.

My heart is so raw before the Lord
and I would not want to be anywhere else than where I am today.

Waiting on Him.
Waiting to see what He has in store for us.

When we start to fill out this paper work,
it will be beyond amazing to watch the Lord work this all out.
know He will give us joy unspeakable and faith immeasurable to pursue these children
unto His glory,
for His kingdom,
forever and ever.
These are HIS children and I am committed to loving them just as Christ loved me.

Wholeheartedly and unselfishly.
(Only because of Jesus can I say that. I am really a very selfish person.)

As I write this, I think of my children and how their hearts are speaking of orphans already.

Like Hannah today on the way to school says,
"I want to save all my money in my piggy-bank so we can bring home the orphans.”

Oh, how my heart just weeps inside.

I'm trying to explain things to my children and I just wonder how much they really
understand of what I am saying
I have a feeling Hannah may understand more than I think.

I tell her, "You know that some children do not have a Mommy or a Papa,
some children have never been told they are loved,
they have never slept in a warm bed,
they have never been fed on a regular basis,
they suck on rocks and eat dirt because of malnutrition,
they are not hugged,
they are not cared for,
they are not clothed,
they are not held,

they simply are not!"

I want to pursue adoption because I believe it's God's heart,
but also because I want my children to see first hand the Glory of Christ
in the face of the fatherless.

I absolutely refuse, if I have anything to do with it, to raise my children thinking that what is important is: iPhone, iPad, TV, video games, clothes, or a ‘who has what’ mentality.

I refuse!
(Oh God help me to seek your Kingdom only and that my children will follow.)

I believe it's a "whole other world" of experiencing Christ's love that we are not aware of because we are caught up in the way of the world. I believe there is something very very special set aside for the individuals and families that take up the cross in this way.
I am so excited to experience this.

So, as these last few days of school come to an end, I pray we can get some paperwork flowing. Friday we went and had our passports done. (Step number one) I believe we will be doing our fingerprinting in the next two weeks and after that, we will start climbing this mountain of paperwork.

All unto the Lord.
At times it seems overwhelming but we must just take one day at a time.
Trusting Jesus for everything.

Looking to Him for provision, finances, strength, wisdom, courage,
understanding, knowledge and grace.

All those yummy things!

But let me remind you again this one thing:

We have an ALL-knowing, ALL- powerful, mountain moving, ocean separating,
turning water into wine, healer of all diseases, King of Kings and Lord of Lords
Father on our side! Oh Glory!

And with that, I am so excited!

"When you are harvesting your crops and forget to bring in a bundle of grain from your field, don’t go back to get it. Leave it for the foreigners, orphans, and widows. Then the LORD your God will bless you in all you do."
Deuteronomy 24:19

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