Thursday, June 9, 2011

My Costco Cart

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”
Matthew 7:13-14

It's everything I read, everything I look at, I am reminded of this "other world" out there.
A world that I was so blind to before.
I was blind because I chose not to see it.
There is nothing that breaks my heart more than to see a child in need.
Little did I know there are 145 million orphans in need.
The simple things in life are becoming very challenging to me.
I can not go on being "blind" anymore.
My heart aches, weeps, hurts, bleeds, sobs all at the same time.
Is that even possible?



This life that I know here in comfy wine country Petaluma is becoming
somewhat foreign to me.
I almost don't even recognize the streets anymore.
I look at everything so differently.

Paul says that while he appreciates the gifts that have been given to him by the people,
he doesn't need them to be content.
He's found the secret to contentedness in all situations
and it is God.

I am content with God, I am not content with the circumstances of my life.
I am not OK with knowing what I know now and doing nothing about it.
God has opened my eyes and I know He has a plan.

I have said it before: Adoption is War!
When one pays money or "fee's" for the process of adoption it is actually a
ransom cost we are paying for these children.
They are held captive in their present situation and we need to set them free.
A ransom must be paid for a freedom of their bodies and souls.
For those who know what I'm talking about, you get it!

This. Is. Huge.

So as I sit at my computer at night and I read stories of people
who have gone before me and are actively pursuing these children
for Christ's-Greater-Good, I am utterly set on fire.
I become more and more consumed with the utter depravity that some children
live and die in daily.


Today I went to Costco. Oh the luxury of America.
Up and down the isles, choosing organic this... all natural that.
So many choices.
My shopping cart is filling up very quickly.
Soap, bread, fruit snacks, granola bars, coffee, eggs, blueberries, carrots,
apples, oranges, diapers, napkins, meat, chicken, cheese... I could go on.
All the while in the back of my mind,
I think of the little faces in Africa
that have never seen this much food in their life.
They have never had bottled water.
They have never had an orange.
They have never had organic blueberries.
They have never had a popsicle.
They eat once a day, if that, and it is usually the same meal.
Rice. Beans,
My heart is unravelled.
As I drive out of the parking lot fighting back tears
because I don't want my children to see me crying (again)
(bless their hearts; they probably think crying is my new hobby)
I plead with my Jesus, why? How can this be? It's so wrong.

Oh Lord, use me in all my brokenness to bring Glory to your name
through giving of myself and loving the orphan.

I have to be very careful how I express my heart.
I am SO beyond thankful for all that I have, you have no idea.
I am very aware that I do not deserve any of this.
Why am I not one of those children?
What makes me able to have anything I want at Costco
while others have nothing?

I can not tell you why I have images of Africa in my mind.
I can not tell you why my heart bleeds for these children except
the Lord is calling...
He is calling this child, this adopted child to help others.
I know He is.
I believe He is.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1

1 comment:

  1. yes sweet friend...God stirs and breaks the willing heart.....and He gives bountifully so we will give bountifully...wait till you GO..JUST WAIT!! you will be wrecked forever and there can never be a point of return...cause you've seen, you've held, you've thankful for your willing heart...